Shaping up for success

I put my hand in my pocket tonight and my jeans slid down off my hips. That was a nice surprise. Fortunately only my husband and children were there to enjoy it with me.

It’s been a month since I took up running. I never would have imagined I’d develop a taste for it. When I was in primary school I was the second slowest in class (the slowest of all developed diabetes by the age of 10). At high school my gym teacher struggled to put into words the strangeness of my running gait. But he was certain that it was, somehow, just not right.

So ever since, I’ve believed that running is not for me. Particularly after two babies in quick succession took its toll on my – well, anyway, not for me.

It’s not just your physical self-confidence that motherhood affects; it can also do serious damage to your professional self-image. I’ve always believed that I have what it takes to succeed; I’ve always been ambitious to make my mark. But I wound things down to start a family, somehow blissfully unaware that my main functions in the years to come would be more akin to dairy cow and domestic serf than omnipotent freelance superwoman.

Through all that, despite my decidedly sub-par performance as both dairy cow and domestic serf, I never stopped believing in my ability to succeed. But that belief, instead of driving me forwards, was driving me crazy. Especially when I found myself lifted from my home country, far from the path I had made myself. I had no idea how I would ever find my way; my carefully-laid trail of crumbs had dissolved in the ocean I had crossed.

But now, I see a clearing ahead. And I can’t quite believe it, but running has brought me to it.

I didn’t start running through choice. My daughter signed up for a race which required the accompaniment of a parent, and all of a sudden this clapped out old dairy cow was facing her very own Grand National. I ran a few times round the block to see if I could, and turned so purple that my neighbour expressed serious concern for my heart. But the next day I got further. And the day after that, right through the woods.

The race came and went two weeks ago: my daughter lost interest and dropped out in advance, but by that time I was hooked. I had become addicted to achieving the impossible. After all that time believing that I couldn’t run, here was I, dashing to the next village and back in a matter of minutes, no wheels involved.

I had discovered that I was capable of transforming myself; that my limitations weren’t as fixed as I had imagined. I had found to my amazement that step by liberating step, I could make myself fit for purpose. And this realisation fed almost instantly into my sense of professional self. It’s not that I haven’t been active through the dairy cow years, but a serious, steady income seemed all that time beyond my reach. I’ve done enriching work, and I’ve learned plenty, but the link between work and financial reward had somehow been broken for me. I had grown used to wandering around in circles, enjoying the view.

But the path is right in front of me now; I can see it clear as day. My first step is sorting out my LinkedIn presence: let me know what you think. The second is adding strong SEO knowhow to my copywriting and editing skillset – I’m pretty geeky, so that doesn’t scare me at all. And step three will be studying for the NT2 II exam, to bring my Dutch to a professional standard. All of these are well within reach, and will, I am sure, get me in perfect shape to attract high calibre clients who value quality content, professionally delivered.

I’m changing. I can feel it. The scales say I’m staying heavy and the purse remains light, but I know I’m getting fitter on both counts. My jeans fell down, remember. And just you wait, the work will come. I’m on the right path now.

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About Catriona
I love to tell stories. My career has covered many bases, but communication has always been at the heart of everything I do. From journalism, politics and PR to art and design; from broadcast animation to published picture books and copy editing, it’s all about making people look and listen, and love what they hear. 

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